THE STAGES OF LOVE



Stage 1: Fantasy

 Everyone loves to be in love. When you’re in love the world looks better, colors seem brighter and you find joy in every part of life. Life is delicious and happy. But did you ever notice that for better or for worse, love changes over time.

This is because there are different and inescapable Stages Of Love. In each stage the characteristics of love will vary. There are transitions and stages of attachment and detachment, independence and dependence.

 It is interesting to note that these various stages of love are not linear. They come and go in waves throughout the relationship. With the advancement of time, there is an ebb and flow to every relationship and each of these stages can over-lap, weaving in and out of each stage at any given time.

The first stage is “The Fantasy” stage of love. This is the same love you read about in romantic novels. The passion is extraordinary in this romantic love stage. You believe your partner could not be more perfect and the infatuation is at its height. The physical attraction between you is at a peak. Your time together is magical. Everything he or she says seems brilliant and witty and everything they do is amazing. There are stars in your eyes and the release of endorphins is keeping your love in a state of bliss.

 This is clearly a time of attachment when you want to do everything together and can’t imagine your life without your partner. You want the fantasy to go on forever, but low and behold arrives the second stage.



Stage 2: Disenchantment



The second stage of love is “Disenchantment”. This is when the reality of the relationship sets in and daily life takes over. Various stages of disillusionment are highlighted and all your partner’s attributes that once seemed so perfect become imperfect. Both you and your partner want to create independence and exert your autonomy.

  This stage is characterized by numerous power struggles as each person wants to gain control over the relationship and each other. They feel they must separate and explore their individual competencies, skills and talents apart from their partner’s.

 This second stage is a time of exploration as individuals and there is a strong need to express independence and freedom. Personal identity often feels challenged. This stage is where many couples get “stuck” and consider giving up or breaking up. There is a sense of deception in that their partner did not portray who they really were in the initial stage of the relationship.

This can be a difficult time between two people and if the partnership is to succeed and move forward each person in the relationship must acknowledge their unique identity as separate and distinct from their partner’s.  Relationship survival at this stage depends on independence and individual growth.  Allowing this independent expression is healthy and important to move on to the next stage of love development.

The final Stage Of Love is called “Authentic” Love. This stage is when true healing occurs and the loving partners come together in acceptance, understanding and higher consciousness. This stage exemplifies true and unconditional love.  Both have weathered the storms and shared their happy times together and now it is time to just “be” with each other. There is a sense of satisfaction, fulfillment and peace that has survived the illusions of infatuation and the challenges of life. This is the most fulfilling, peaceful, and joyful stage of love and the one we all try to achieve.

Stage 3: Authentic Love

DOES MY EX WANT TO GET BACK WITH ME?

BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO



Get back with me, love?

 Breaking up with your spouse or significant other can be a difficult task. It is a time of confusion, loss, anger and a myriad of emotions. But even through these challenging times, you may wonder if your ex wants to get back with you. There were so many wonderful memories you shared with each other during your time together and you naturally miss your partner. A certain song or a particular place can bring back a flood of blissful moments. The longer and more intimate the relationship, the more difficult it is to forget your partner and just move on. Since you may be remembering all the good times you spent with your companion, you wonder if your ex is remembering them as well. Is your ex longing to get back with you?

DON'T JUMP THE GUN

Your ex may want to get back together with you and you may have even contemplated the idea, but don't be so quick to "jump the gun." You should first question whether or not you truly want to re-ignite the love you shared. Remember, you broke up for a reason and those reasons may still exist. Has anything changed between the two of you? Have either of you matured, grown or increased your willingness to compromise on the problems in the relationship?

ANALYZE THE NEW INTEREST



Does my ex really want to get back with me?

 Another question to consider when an ex shows interest again in renewing the relationship is whether or not they are just playing games. Some people just want what they don't have or they may be trying to make you jealous. Perhaps your ex is just trying to get attention with no intention of trying to get back with you.

Another common mistake is that your ex may want to get back together because they currently have no other prospects. They may not be doing it maliciously or intentionally but are just lonely or bored so they think about the times you shared more often and with an "everything was perfect" fantasy. Your ex partner may not even realize that this is their motivation.

And last, your ex may just be trying to get revenge for some perceived injustice. If this is the case, my guess is that as soon as they know they have you back in their life, they will kick you to the curb and say goodbye. It was all just to teach you a lesson.

HOW TO TELL IF EX WANTS TO GET BACK WITH ME: 6 SIGNS

1. Are they calling, texting, or contacting you more frequently?
2. Do they stop by unexpectedly to your home or work?
3. Do you see them more often at the places you frequented as a couple? The places you stopped seeing them at right after the break up?
4. Do they contact you "out of the blue",  for help of any kind?
5. Are they more interested in spending time with you recently?
6. Do you notice when they are with you they are more friendly and flirtatious?

These are all signs that your ex may be attempting to get back with you. However, it may be better to wait before you act so you can get a better feel for the situation and the possible motives. If your ex wants to get back with you the best scenario may be to have a "wait and see" attitude. Playing a little hard to get might prevent you from getting hurt. If you wait before diving back into the relationship you can see if your ex is really serious about wanting to get back together with you and you will no longer have to wonder, "does my ex want to get back with me?" You will absolutely know!

Please feel free to leave any comments below.

CAN I WIN BACK MY EX WITH MANIPULATION?

There are times when we can't think of anything that will work to get back with someone we love. So what do we do? Sometimes we resort to that dirty little word called manipulation to win back an ex. Manipulation is that backroom secret that nobody wants to talk about. We've all probably done it when we feel there is no other recourse.

 In Buddhist philosophy there is a principle called "right action." A similar thought exists in Christianity which says you should "do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Both of these philosophies have the same message. Manipulation of another person is probably not the best idea. It is certainly not the road you want to travel in trying to win back the love of your ex.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH MANIPULATION?

What is so wrong with manipulation if it works? Manipulating another might help you to achieve your short term goals, but it does not help to build a long term relationship. Manipulating and mind games is dishonest and can easily corrode the existing relationship. On a subconscious level, the manipulated person knows they are being controlled by another and the feeling of distrust may grow.

A successful relationship is built on trust, integrity, and communication. These are the stepping stones to a healthy and happy connection between two people. You cannot win back an ex with manipulation and maintain mutual respect for yourself or your partner. Honor the bond between you with fair play instead of exploitation. Give your love the opportunity to grow and flourish!

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this subject. Please feel free to leave you words of wisdom in the comments section below.

POWERFUL SECRETS TO WIN BACK YOUR EX

Would you like to know one of the most powerful secrets to win back your ex?
You're in the right place!

photo by: dtcreations

Let's face it. Breaking up with someone you still love can be heart wrenching.
You're on a roller coaster of emotions and that anxiety can cause you to behave and act in crazy ways!

You either can't stand the thought of looking at food or you eat yourself into a frenzy.One minute you're crying your eyes out and the next minute you're so angry at your ex you can't see straight.

You feel guilty and sad and angry...or even worse, you just want to get even. One minute you're hating your ex with a passion and the next minute loving them-warts and all. You would probably do anything to just make up and start over. Rest assured help has arrived. Welcome to the Secrets To Win Back Your Ex!

SECRET # 1:
STOP TRYING TO WIN BACK YOUR EX!


 Whatever it is you are now doing to win back your ex...STOP! It isn't working.
Let me repeat that. It--is--not--working, so just STOP!

My guess is that your are constantly bombarding your ex love with text messages and phone calls trying to keep the dialogue going, trying not to lose contact. Maybe even begging them to take you back.
Remember:  What You Resist Persists!

You need to first stop resisting the fact that your ex broke up with you. As difficult as it is, accept the break up at this time. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Hopefully, it isn't going to be forever, so for now just let go and release it. Take a deep breath and just let it be. Release all the clinging and grasping because it will just push your ex further away from you and you won't have any chance whatsoever of winning them back. So, the first step is to break off contact with your ex. (Ouch! I know. I know you don't want to. But....)

photo by: Clarita

SECRET #2:
BECOME EMPOWERED!


A funny thing happens when you do this. You tend to be more involved in developing and improving yourself and your own life. That, my friend, helps you become more self empowered and a more interesting person. It also gives your ex love time apart from you and time away from the quarrels and problems. They may start to miss you and remember what they loved about you in the first place. It also gives them time to consider how lonely life would be without you.

photo by: mikrash

SECRET #3:
IF YOU HAVE IT YOU DON'T WANT IT!

Everyone tends to want what they don't have! So while you are waiting, just keep improving yourself and your life. The better you get and the more you live your life happily without your ex, the more desirable you probably will be to your ex. This may sound counter- intuitive, but believe me it can work. As the old saying goes, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." This truism has been around for ages for a reason! Be patient and give your ex time to remember what a special person you are and what a special couple you were when together.

Do you want to know one powerful Secret to Win Back Your Ex? Give them personal space and time and a reason to return to the love you shared.  I invite you to leave any comments or your own words of wisdom below.